Jacob

Yesterday was one of the days in your life that make you step back for a second and think about everything you have ever believed in. Sean and I went to Erie Pride in an effort to represent the League of Gay and Lesbian Voters. The event was fine enough. It was small, but Erie is a small city and I was glad to be at it.

When I was there, I was working a table and getting people signed up on our mailing list. A guy happened to stop by, he seemed quite young. I gave him the usual speech, and asked him to sign up on our mailing list. He looked at me and said, “Sorry I don’t have an address, my parents kicked me out.” I made a few blundering comments and he left. I have never run across this before. Of course I have read about it so many times. Gay kids get kicked out of their homes, that happens and it is a problem. That was the first time I actually ever met a victim of it.

The afternoon I kept thinking about Jacob. I had this weird paternal feeling in me. I wanted to buy him a meal or something. He came back over. I was very glad to see him. He asked me for my number. Unfortunately, Jacob was flirting with me. I did like it a lot, but I kept telling myself that this is not what he needs. I gave me my business card and told him if he was ever in Pittsburgh to give me a call. He was disappointed to see that I was not from Erie, but left the table leaving me to think about him even more.

I was sitting around doing my thing, when Jacob gave up behind me while I was talking to Dave Martin and Sean about Politics. His first comment this time: “Do you want to make out?” I was a little taken a back, because I did want to but knew there was no way. I pulled him aside and said, “You need to work on your pillow talk.” I told Sean that I would return shortly and I went for a walk with Jacob.

He wanted to go to his friend’s apartment that he had been staying with. He brought me up to it where he told me he would like to kiss me. Against every natural urge I had, I attempted to dissuade Jacob. I started asking him about how long he had been homeless, and what his plans were for the future. He told me he wanted to get his GED. I asked him why he left school, and it was the usual “People suck and they are mean.”

He did manage to kiss me, and when he did I did not immediately resist. He was gorgeous and you and vibrant. There was a hicky on his neck as big as my fist (I suspected it was a bruise, but he told me otherwise.) I pulled away after a minute, and tried to move the conversation onward. I asked him about PFLAG and if he ever heard of them. He was oblivious. I told him that they are sometimes able to help queer youth that are in trouble. He tried to kiss me some more, and I did not pull back fast enough. When he would start burying his tongue in my mouth, I would kiss him back and then I would have to pry him off me with him protesting on why I would stop. To get him off of me, I rolled him into a sitting up position where I straddled him.

“Jacob, what do you want today?” He was kind of dumbfounded. He asked me what I was talking about, and said he wanted to make out. So I pressed him a little further. Asking him if people ask him want he wants ever. He refused to talk, and when I would pull his face up to look at him he would turn away. He finally excused himself, and I speculate it was because his eyes were welling with tears.

On his return, I talk a little more about PFLAG and asked for his contact info. All he had was an email address and an Instant Messenger name. We discussed his family, and he told me he was 1 of 10 kids with a dad that drank a lot. I asked him where in Erie he lived and he rattled off this recorder-like description of the 2 homes his family owns their property and places he has traveled to. It was well rehearsed but his delivery was deplorable. I looked at Jacob, in his stained gray sweatshirt and tattered tight jeans. He refused to take his hat off. Truly a product of consumer society, even in his homeless state he was willing to make himself look good by telling me about how much his family had (even though these are the people that abandoned him.) He once again started to make out with me, and this time I was a little quicker on the draw about pulling him off. I told him that I wanted to take him down to the festival and I wanted him to stick by me. He told me he would. When we got in the elevator I gave him a kiss, and reassured him how handsome and sweet he was.

We went down, and Sean pointed me to the PFLAG. I approached the president, and told her of Jacob’s dilemma. I asked her if the Erie chapter was able to find home place for the youth. She said they did not. I invited Jacob over to meet her. They sat down, and started to talk. I left and went to pack of the League of Gay and Lesbian Voter’s table. When it was finished I went over to the PFLAG table, but was unable to interrupt Jacob. I asked one of the people at the table to tell him good bye for me. As I walked away he called out a good bye and I went back to give him a hug and one last wish of good luck. I hugged the PFLAG president, and felt well about the current situation.

At one point during the thing, I told him I tend to travel to places like Erie or Harrisburg with the campaign. His response was “I wish I could travel around.” For a second, I thought about asking him to come back to Pittsburgh. I wanted him to live with me where I could feed him and get him back into school. I took it no farther than my thoughts. I hope he is ok, when I emailed him last night his account quota was full. Hopefully I will see Jacob again.

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