So tonight was my last night with David. We went to see Spirited Away a Japanese anime film and ate at Casa Mare. I had a really good time, and I think David enjoyed himself very much. We also met Renee Zimmerman and went to Jerry’s a truck stop in Ft. Wayne to have coffee with an old friend of theirs. I felt like I was kind of intruding because they were doing a lot of close knit bonding, but it was just so great to be out and with David.

I, per usual, found it so difficult to look at him. GAAAHHHH!!! I am such a wimp; I wish I could just look into his eyes. We were all sitting at the table tonight and we just joking saying “I Love You” to one another and when he said it to me, I almost melted. I wanted to stop time right there. I, in all my idiocy, said “I Love all of you” under mumbled breath.

Our drive home was very normal. We talked about high school, and when we realized about being gay. Dropping him off was so hard, because I knew that I was not sure when/if I would get to see if again. He said he would try to come out to Pittsburgh, which I would love so much. I just do not want him to come out and be bored. I am giddy right now just thinking about him visiting. That would be so great.

I am going to miss him. I have been thinking about growing old and into marriage with someone, and I keep putting him in the picture. I guess, for right now it is not meant to be. The good-bye hug was pretty good for being inside the car. I love to hug him.


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