I met with Mary Jo today. I think she picked up on it, but she did not say that she thought I was depressed. She told me that I need to be running toward something and not away from anything. I need to find something to focus on and reconnect with my life in Pittsburgh for at least the next few months. I cannot keep living in California, when clearly I am now in Pittsburgh. Not everything in life is going to Big Sur, or an enlightened conversation. I do not know if I feel better now, but I know for sure that I need to start living life here again. I am not sure where life is going to take me, but I have decided I need to be in charge of it. It is just finding out how to accomplishit, that is the bigger problem.

Also on a side note, the weekend I am going to the School of the Americas Rufus is coming to Pittsburgh to perform. I am very sad, that I am not going to get to see him. I keep telling myself that when democracy is restored to Latin America, they will all be able to listen to him and appreciate his music as much as I do. I guess it is a small sacrifice in the bigger picture of everything.

Man do I want to go to that concert.

Homework sucks, it just fucking sucks. There is no other way to think about it than that. I want to give up on Greek so bad, but I am not going to let myself. Come hell or high water I want to be able to read this language for the rest of my life.

I have to be up in a few hours to go to a demonstration by the janitors downtown. I wish I could sleep in like normal college students. What to do, what to do…
Posted on 10.23.2003 at 10:58 PM

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