So after all of this it finally ended between Neal and I, I am sad but have not been able to cry about it, which makes me even more sad. I think I am getting used to being hurt by the people I love in this world.
He came over to hang out and I said I needed to talk. I basically laid it out that I cannot keep doing this once a week thing if he is suppose to be my boyfriend. I told him I really wanted to work it out, and he said he thought it could not be worked out. That is when I knew it was over and said so, he agreed. He got on his bike and left, he wouldn’t look at me and I forced him to hug me.
I truly believe he never EVER felt for me the way I felt for him.
So anyway, I went to my favorite bar and got totally loaded on caipirinhas and when I got home there was a note on the door. It was from Neal, I of course like a fool had sent him a text message from the bar saying “I wish we had more time 2gether 2nite” the note said. “I left my phone inside and came back to get it but you were gone. I wish we had more time too.”
So then I go to get his phone and it is gone, and in my totally drunken state realized, “how did he get the text message if his phone is in here?” Then I realized the screen is out of the window, so I call him. He told me he broke in to get it and left. HE said we should talk, but probably not when I was drunk. I started to cry and say sorry, but agreed we would talk tomorrow (today). He is to call me after 6:00. I do not think there is much to talk about. I want to work it out, he doesn’t, meaning it is done and over.
Conclusion: I am alone and depressed … glad things are back to normal.