Tonight I am hurt, because one year ago I realized Neal and I were ending. We had a terrible fourth of July together. I remember he told me to quiet down, because I was talking too “high.” He was embarrassed to have me around his straight friends it seems. One year ago it all came apart, when I realized he did not care for me the way I did for him. As I sat looking at the fireworks tonight with a really good friend (she has been there for me a ton) I knew Neal never loved me.

Then out of the blue a friend who was there asked me about Neal. I found out Neal still hangs out with people I consider good friends, and they even organized a trip to a movie excluding me because Neal would be there. That really hurts a lot. I love these people, and I know they had my best interests at heart, but I do not want them fraternizing with the man who has cost me a year of my life.

PS I am drunk right now

PSS I still love him


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