Michele told me the other day about the potential for an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon to be contacted, we were thinking about how this would go down. The picture in the article clearly shows they are not pleased by helicopter taking pictures of them. Who would make a great ambassador of civilization? I think we would want someone strong yet fun. The options could be one of these.
military = strong, not fun
scientist s= not fun, not strong
local citizenry = potentially fun, not strong
And then when were discussing who it should be, we thought of the best ambassadors of all. Drag Queens. First off, everyone loves drag queens, but knows not to mess with them. If this uncontacted tribe tries to pull a bow an arrow on them, I feel the people in the tribe, because all in civilization know that hell hath no furry like a pissed off and potentially sweaty drag queen.
A small contingent of drag queens (Wong Fu-esque) would be a group to walk out of the jungle and try to negotiate a peaceful coexistence. Imagine the dialogue:
DQ: Now listen, we don’t be here any more than you. You just need tro relax and stop throwing shit at helicopters.
TM: Why do you have a very large adam’s apple?
DQ: Honey, that ain’t the only thing that is large!
TM: We have heard stories of the others? You are nothing like the stories?
DQ: That’s why they sent us. Now see the whole body paint thing you got going on? I too am an expert in makeup.
Giving gifts of cheap mascara and eyeliner proceed. An uncontacted tribe has been contacted and peace prevails.