Love of Friends in Philly

Last night, Samer and I hosted a house party. I’ll let the guests rate it, but I had a lot of fun. We called it “Love of Friends – Philly Style”. When I lived in Pittsburgh, my friend Tirzah introduced me to the idea of this party. Love of Friends is held around Valentine’s Day to celebrate friendship.

We asked our friends to bring something to share and they did not disappoint. Lots of people brought games that I never really got to break into last night. Mona forgot the game “Dirty Minds” our our table when she left. I am still not sure how to play, but as I nurse my hangover with coffee and pumpkin cake (Thanks Zach!) this morning I am reading through the game book and laughing out loud. You give dirty closes to get people to say non-dirty words. Example:

  • Hint: You stick your poles inside me.
  • Hint: You tie me down to get me up.
  • Hint: I get wet before you do.
  • Answer: Tent.

Dan taught us about Chinese tea ceremony and taught me that I should be putting an ice cube in my tea. One for black tea, two for green. I am still shocked by this knowledge, but will test it our later in the day. Katie brought art! It’s a geometric heart and I love it. Maybe, I am being really sappy this morning. but I thought it went perfect for the party. Friends are the building blocks of love. She also gave us the art!

Our friends are so generous and amazing. People shared booze, food, stories, and Cathy brought her famous cheesecake. I never got to break into Exploding Kittens with Conor and Jules, but we had this great moment laughing and appreciating pets both past and present. Our old cat Josephine (RIP) would have loved/hated last night’s party.

Samer made tones of little pies for the night.  Some were spinach and some were cheese.  They were delicious and took the better part of a week to make.  I am so glad the Great British Baking Show came to netflix, because this now man is obsessed with making dough.

Last night made me feel so good.  I know that my friends are wonderful, smart, interesting, and funny people,so when you get them all together, it fills the house with the best energy one could hope for in a community.   I am eternally thankful to have such great people in my life.

I need to load the dishwasher one more time. Friends, we love you!

Thre reality of losing a friend

For almost a decade my best friend was Michele. This fall we had a falling out, but in recent weeks we thought we could patch our friendship back up to its previous state. She has been on vacation with her date for a few days before the New Year. The last time I saw her was December 29th. Believe me I do not expect to be a priority in her life, but I do expect her to treat a friend with decency. Michele got back into town on January 4th and we saw each other for about 10 seconds on the 5th. I was taking the garbage out while she ran in the house to get some stuff for her date’s place. I had made dinner for us that night, but she didn’t take the time to even ask anything other than her typical statement about her plans for the night. She had a party to attend. I probably should have told her there was dinner, but she had messaged me on Monday to say she would be home on Tuesday. I thought it would be a nice surprise.

I didn’t see her until about 2 PM today, where she walked in made about 15 seconds of small talk while I was preparing lunch. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but her date was at the apartment I didn’t think it was fair to do something like that with company. I went into my room to fish my phone out of my gym bag and she then walked out without saying good bye. She just walked out. I am open enough to say she really hurt me. I told myself in 2010 that I was not going to let myself get jerked around any longer. I was going to be a better person because of it.

I have decided to follow through and post this conversation, because Michele told me I could. It happened on December 24, 2009 over AIM. She really tricked me and I thought she was going to be a good friend.

Michele: the days4:25 PM i miss hanging out me: well you made a choice not to hang out  that is all on you  i don’t feel bad about anything Michele: i did not meant to hurt you  im really sorry  ok?4:26 PM me: If you feel bad, then you should take a moment to think about what a shitty friend you have become  i get it, you say it all of the time  it doesn’t mean much any more  your actions speak louder than words Michele: and i apologize and i am reflectng upon that  i want to rebuild our friendship me: I told you how I felt in that letter and then you told me you would work on it Michele: ok? me: and then you chose not to  that was fucking shitty  so shitty4:27 PM I will never forget that Michele: i know and i will try with this new year to become a better friend  to you  i dont want to lose you me: fine reflect, don’t expect me to just be all smiley again Michele: i know  but lets just try to be friends4:28 PM i miss you  i think about you all the time  you are more important than [redacted] me: that doesn’t mean anything to me Michele: i will try to be a better friend  ok? me: you said that once4:29 PM Michele: no i really will  i mean it me: It is hard for me to believe it Michele: save this conversation  and if i dont post it on my wall me: i remember the last one in november  I could tell everyone about that one Michele: ok i am going to try  ok?4:30 PM this is all i can do  and if you dont give me a chance i cant try  that is all i can do me: that is fine, try, i am just telling you I don’t expect much  I gave you one in november Michele: you will be surprised  ok?  gtg and cook me: bye Michele: i love you as a good friend  i dont want to hurt you4:31 PM ok?4:32 PM me: ok

Believe I understand this is karma. Oh, I certainly do understand it. This is penance for my past and I will take it.

Update: However this is not the first time this has happened. We spoke in November where Michele and I agreed we would work on a better friendship. She stopped coming home for three weeks. Then as you can see in December we agreed again to work on it. Now we are in January.


I am supposed to go see Avatar today, but my date is now sick. Let’s call my date Saul Fooley II. Saul promised to go with me way back in November, and then we were going to go opening night. Then he decided to jet set to London at the last minute with his roommate, which inevitably made him sick. Saul has chosen not to take care of himself, thus he is still sick. Both Monday the 28th was proposed and Tuesday was decided. Saul has now pushed the date off until Wednesday the 30th.

I have yet to see Avatar, because of Saul Fooley. I have included correspondence from Saul to me relating to Avatar below.

Disclaimer: Saul is heterosexual, though not immediately identifiable.

November 4:

when avatar comes out on december 18th, we should go see it, but not tell anyone. the problem is, it could be the worst move ever. however, i think there might be a good anti-colonialism/anti-imperalism aspect to it. still it looks like an abomination and takes the arts down a notch.
p.s. don’t share my interest in going to see this movie with anyone! even my roommate!

December 21:

when do you come back so we can see avatar.

December 24:

we should watch avatar on tuesday.

December 25:

I was thinking on Tuesday we could catch Avatar at matinee.

December 28:

We should see Avatar on Wednesday (3:05).

Carl Williams ¡Presente!

Last week one of my best friends over the past two years died. His name was Carl Williams and we met in Ecuador. I met Carl in August of 2007 and him and I became very good friends. He was smart, super funny, and knew more about music than anyone I had met. One of the first trips I had in Ecuador was with him and I made him and his wife stay in this terrible hostel in Sua. There were bugs, it was hot, and the neighbors played Spanish Christian Rock super loud. It was pretty insane indeed.

Carl and I traveled a lot together (along with Lydia and Michele) and he was my best friend for two years. He taught me great things like when it comes to making margaritas it is not about the quality of the tequila, but about the quality of the cointreau. When I heard he died in Ecuador away from his family I was saddened beyond imagination. In light of all of this, one beautiful note is the fact that, his first granddaughter was born this Saturday.

The word we give to all fallen comrades I speak to you now sir. Carl Williams  ¡Presente!